I need to be more active in updating my journals. I know this, and I want to do this, but it is difficult to write about something that I don't have.
I have been talking to two lovely gentlemen online over the last two weeks. But it isn't going to work. Each time one of them pushes a little, gives a little direction, asks for me to bend slightly to his will my immediate response is a feeling of cheating.
I am still caught by someone else. I was stupid to think that I had escaped just because I was able to distract myself for a little while.
Oh boy, things are complicated.