Sunday, May 6, 2012


I'm an extremely self-disciplined person.  I've had to be.  Not only have I developed this self-discipline as a means to prepare myself to serve, but it's been a resource that I've been able to rely on to keep me sane and focused during the long long time since I've had a daddy.

Now I find myself in a strange position where the thought of surrendering that control really is quite terrifying.

If I hand over my hard won self-control to a dominant, then everything about me could fall to pieces in a heartbeat, meaning that I would no longer have the ability to serve.  If I didn't have the ability to serve my dominant, then not only have I failed in what I'm trying to do for him, but I wouldn't be useful at all.  If I don't have a purpose and I can't serve and be useful, then why would my dominant want to own me?  And if my dominant didn't want to own me, then that leaves me in a precarious position where I have no control over myself because I've surrendered it, and no dominant to lend me focus and structure, to give me purpose, to find me useful.  It would leave me having given up control over myself, looking to where he is standing for some sort of focus and finding that he has left.

So, I suppose the question stands... how do you surrender all control to someone without falling apart?


Anonymous said...

I am very new to the BDSM lifestyle, and just 2 weeks ago I reached out to find someone to show me the way. I have learned so much about myself and the D/s dynamic you've spoken of. My mentor has become my Daddy quite naturally, and I have grown so much so quickly, but I'm not where I need to be just yet. I love the way you have been able to word my fear so eloquently. Thank you, DG. I would love to get to know you on fetlife, if you are up for it. Take care and please keep posting,

poppie said...

We are loving your blog and hope ours ends up with as much quality as yours. we are documenting our entry into the daddy dom, adult little girl world one day at a time.

Anonymous said...

Amazing read. I have just vowed my submission to my daddy/Dom. And I'm new to this I appreciate what you are writing. If your still on fetlife I'd love to chat sometime